Mindset for Pitchers and Parents

Are you a parent of a pitcher? Do you often find yourself wondering how you can best support her and still push her to be the best that she can be? Do you know how to handle her when she is upset over a bad game? Let me give you a few pointers from experience.

There’s no worse feeling as a pitcher than when we feel that we are the reason why our team lost a game. We put so much pressure on ourselves because we know that every single play begins and ends with us. The play begins with us delivering the pitch and the play is not over until it reaches the circle. That responsibility can weigh on us like a ton of bricks. Unless we learn how to handle that pressure, and especially the losses, it can be detrimental to our future in the circle.

As parents, you are most likely there for almost every at-home practicing session, team practice, lesson, and game. You can know exactly what she is doing wrong, or correctly, but you’ll find that she may not want to hear it from you, unfortunately. No offense, but “you’re the parent” and don’t know what you’re talking about, or so they may think. Kids never want to believe that we are actually right and know what we are talking about. If you have a coach or instructor, they need to help assist you here and have a honest discussion with them on how you are their eyes when they are pitching, you are their pitching coach when they can’t be there to see them throwing, and you are simply helping them to understand the adjustment that needs to be made before they keep going down the road of throwing countless balls and get pulled off the mound.

BUT - You have to watch and be mindful of how you deliver these cues to your pitcher. You have to give her time to try and figure it out on her own. If she still seems to be struggling after a few batters, come up with quick cues that she will recognize and know what she needs to do in order to try and correct her pitch. Maybe you say “glove up and reach” for better glove drive to keep her tall and get her shoulders rotating properly, or “drive the knee” to let her know that she’s turning her foot off the mound so that she stays in agreement with the catcher in her leg and arm drive. Don’t constantly be yelling at her while she’s in the circle. You’re going to make her nerves and anxiety worse. You’re better off reminding her to take her time and breathe, so that she can stay loose and keep her mind in the game. Go visit her when she comes in off the field and have a calm, positive chat if her coach allows it. Tell her the things she is doing great and correct, and then address the things you may think she can adjust. You want to keep her mindset calm and positive. Let’s not be the reason why she gets flustered and anxious.

Now let’s move on to after the game. After every single game she should be reviewing, recognizing, and then letting it go. This means that she needs a notebook to keep track of her own thoughts of her performance in order to reflect on what she did really well and what she struggled with. Maybe she kept a positive attitude, hit the inside corner well and felt she was pretty successful landing her change up. On the other hand, she struggled to hit the outside corner and her drop ball wasn’t working well that game because it was hitting the dirt too soon. These notes will help her make a plan for the next lesson or pitching session that week and what she needs to focus on. Remember, there is always a lesson in every “failure.” We learn from the good days and from the bad days.

After she finishes her reflection on the game, allow her to leave it there and don’t harp on it. Teaching her to have a positive attitude from a loss is almost more important than if she wins, because that’s where she will grow as an athlete and as a person. We know as adults that life very rarely ever goes our way, we are always needing to adjust to the circumstances and make the best out of any situation. Allow her to be upset about it and show her emotions to you without judgement, but then it’s time to move on, learn the lesson and work on the improvements for the next game.

Remind her to not compare herself to other pitchers. Every single pitcher is different. She needs to focus on HER strengths, on what SHE does best and excel at those things to the best of her ability. She may not be the fastest, but she can have the best command of her pitchers and focus on spin and off-speed. When she becomes comfortable in her own skin, in her own abilities and learns to turn all of her focus and energy on herself rather than what other pitchers are doing, that’s where she will grow and evolve into the best pitcher that she can be.

Lastly, there is no such thing as PERFECT. She will want to be perfect, she will strive for perfection, because that’s what pitchers do. It’s so important that she knows that no one, not even the most elite pitchers in the nation, are perfect. We all have good days and we all have bad days. What sets us apart is HOW we HANDLE those bad days, HOW keep a POSITIVE mindset and HOW we stay FOCUSED on the NEXT pitch, and then the next, not getting hung up on what went wrong.

I hope these tips help you support your pitcher along her journey. I know it’s not easy, but this can really become something that you can bond over with her. I still remember all of the rides home from my tournaments and games and going over what pitches I know I let hang over the plate and what pitches really worked well for me with my pap and my mom. We never talked negatively about my performance, only to evaluate, learn and know what I needed to work on. I remember sitting in the outfield scouting our next opponent with my pap to see what each hitter’s weaknesses were before I had to face them in order to be one step ahead. Some people thought we were too serious, but I absolutely loved it. He never badgered me about my mistakes, he only gave me crap if my attitude was bad or if I wasn’t being a good teammate, because those things I could control. That part of my life was the absolute best, so never forget that as you go on this journey with her. You want her to look back on her life when she’s older and have good memories with you and how you bonded over these experiences.

Have fun with her. Enjoy every second. She will thank you endlessly when she looks back and can see all that you did to support her dream.

xo,

Coach Jen